July 21, 2020
Moving Forward When the Lights Go Out
As difficult as it was for me to accept my future without Andrew, I realized at some point I had to move forward. If I didn't move forward, I would lose my life. I would stagnate. I would die emotionally at the least. Part of me wanted to die to be with my child, but then part of me knew that I had to battle through and live. It would do me no good to sit and pine forever. I remembered the story of David, and the child he had with Bathsheba. When the child was born, it was sickly and died before they named him. David mourned and cried and prayed for God to spare his little life. God allowed the child to die. Once David knew the child was in fact dead, David washed his face, broke his fast, worshipped the Lord, and ate. How and why did he do this? His answer was simple:
While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. (2 Samuel 12:22-23)
And at some point I realized the same. Andrew would never return to this world. But I could go be with him. And in Heaven, where time is not measured, it will not seem like any time at all before I will be there with him. A preacher explained it something like this: (and in my mind this is how it plays out...)
Mrs. Doris: Massie Ray, there you are. Who is that with you?
Mr. Massie Ray: Oh, it's Andrew.
Andrew: Hey Grandmama and Granddaddy.
Mr. Massie Ray: Son, where's your daddy and mama and brother?
Andrew: Here they come...
And we will be there... just like that. And with us, we will bring a whole family of grands and great grands and great great grands for them to meet. What a happy time!
So, I refused to die emotionally. I chose to live, like David. David went on to have several more children with Bathsheba and his other wives, including Solomon (the wisest man to have lived). Just think if David had pined away, would we have had Solomon? Actually would we have had Mary and Joseph (both descendants of David)? God had a purpose for David's life even though his baby died. God has a purpose for our lives as well. We must embrace that purpose even in spite of our intense pain.
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one today, I beg you to embrace your own life. Your life's purpose is not complete, or you would not be here. You have time. You have talents. You have a calling. What is it that God intends for you to do? I don't know. I don't even know all the things God wants me to do. It's a daily call... a daily completion... a daily task. But I do know that I will have to give an account for everything that God had planned for me to complete. I want to meet those goals.
There is a time to grieve. Ecclesiastes 3 tells us this. But there is also a time to plant, harvest, heal, laugh, dance, embrace, search, and love. (Along with much more.) Our lives are filled with complexities. Yes we hurt, but we also heal. Yes we cry, but we also laugh. Yes we grieve... but... but... but... the dancing returns. Don't forget this. Eventually... you will dance again! If we get stuck in one part of our time, like grieving... we miss so much more of what our time is supposed to be.
To the grieving heart today, I offer this advice:
Cry if you must... but replace the tears with laughter when you can.
Grieve, for you shall... but keep your dancing shoes close by, for you will want to dance again.
Turn away for a time... but keep looking for the next moment to embrace someone you love.
Be quiet if it helps you heal...but remember you have a beautiful voice others long to hear.
Hate the wrong done to you... but remember there are those who wait patiently to feel your love again.
My beautiful friends... there is a time for all things, but never forget this...
This is your time!
Much love to you all!
To Be Continued!