July 15, 2020
Growing Spiritually & Emotionally When The Lights Go Out
When your life is turned upside down, the devil thinks he's won. He is pretty sure of himself, and as you grieve, he gleefully thinks he has his next victim wrapped up in a shroud of grief for all eternity. I know he thought he'd have my soul during all of this. But God keep reaching out for me during my darkness. He didn't give up on me. I only had to reach back...
But ultimately, the choice was mine. Would I allow my despair to cripple my life, or would I rise stronger than anyone, including myself, ever imagined? It started small; then it gradually got easier. A verse here... a verse there... a thought... then a chapter... a small study... a poem... a song... I was slowly rebuilding my faith.
I have always been a reader and writer, so of course I did a lot of reading... a lot of writing... and then there was my music. I'm not a singer, not my choice but my anatomy I guess... but I love music. I love to play music, and I even sing to myself. God would give me a song here or a poem there. Just enough for me to keep moving forward. I think the first song He gave me after Andrew's death was a song for Easter. The chorus goes something like this:
Glory, Hallelujah
He is risen from the grave.
Mankind no longer banished.
By His Blood we now are saved.
I realized early on, and I attribute my realization to my upbringing strong in faith with God, that Jesus would be the only one who could truly help me overcome my fears... my anxieties... my grief. So, not long afterwards I wrote another song, Jesus, You've been a real friend to me. And it was the truth. Despite all my grief, Jesus always came through for me... every single time.
A few times in my life I searched for answers from men... Every single time, God showed me it was not men who had the answers... it was Him... all along...every single time. God has used men and women to encourage me, but ultimately it was my relationship with Him that mattered most. Without my relationship with Christ, I'd truly have drowned in my loss.
I encourage you today, those of you who grieve so deeply that you feel the sun will never shine again in your heart... lean on Jesus. This is not a cliche; this is not a sermon (well it kinda is)... this is truth from someone who knows what it's like to cry out into the night and pray that someone hears you. Jesus does. And when you find Him, you will know it. You will know you have touched heaven with your tears. He will come down to you. Wrap you up in the greatest bear hug of all times, and let you know that it is going to be okay once again.
Man did not save me. As many people tried to encourage me, their words would have fallen short. God saved me. Man did not love me enough. As so many friends and family members reached out to show love and support, it all was less than my grieving soul needed. God loved me enough. Man did not take away my grief. So many tried to cheer me and help me through my pain, but at the end of the day, I was still hurting. God took away my grief and gave me reason to live.
If you feel in spite of every single thing you have done and others have done to help you, that you still are lost in grief... I challenge you... I implore you... I advise you... build your faith back in Him! Trust Him! What's the worse that can happen? You already feel lost. If He can't save you, then... what... you'll still be lost. But what if... no... I know the "what if..." I have lived it. I know HE IS the answer. Period...
Trust me... trust someone who has reached out in the darkest of times... hoping for something solid to clench as the world kept right on spinning faster and faster... trust Him as He reaches out and clasps His tender, yet oh so strong, hand around yours. Trust the One who died for you so that you and your precious loved one can be reunited again in Heaven. And I leave you with this old hymn that brings so much comfort to me each time I play it or sing it or hear it:
There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus.
No, not one; No not one.
None else could heal all our soul's diseases (even grief)
No, not one; No not one.
Jesus knows all about our troubles (even our grief).
He will guide till the day is done.
There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus.
No not one! No not one!
My advice to the grieving soul today:
1. Run to Jesus!
2. Run to Jesus!
3. Run to Jesus!
Much love to you all!
To Be Continued!
